@@@@@The room is full of sunnyDust floats in the
By gioiaclzg, 11:22@@@@@The room is full of sunnyDust floats in
the sunny and his hand goes through the sunny with
the glass and you call that prettyI cry more afterwards, but from betterHe
kiss me kiss me kiss me, hug me hug me hug me, and
I try to say him - "Daddy!" - and still can'tThen I think around sideways to his name, and John
is there, so I think that in my mind and while I
think John I "Daddy!" out my mouth and he hug me
hug me some moreShe thinks Daddy is my first word on this side of
the bad thingThe truth is in the details2 - Big Pink
i
65
Kamen's geographical worked, but when it came to
fixing what was wrong with my head, I think the
Florida part was coincidentalIt's true that I
lived there, but I never really lived thereNo,
Kamen's geographical worked because of Duma Key,
and Big PinkFor me, those places came to
constitute their own worldPaul on November tenth with hope in my
heart but no real expectationsKathi Green the
Rehab Queen came to see me offShe kissed me on
the mouth, hugged me hard, and whispered "May all
your dreams come true, Eddie
"Thanks, Kathi," I saidI was touched even though
the dream I fixed on was of Reba the Anger-
Management Doll, grown to the size of an actual
child, sitting in the moonlit living room of the
house I'd shared with PamThat dream coming true
I could live without"And send me a picture from Disney WorldI long
to see you in mouse ears
"I will," I said, but I never got to Disney WorldSea World, Busch Gardens, or Daytona Speedway,
eitherPaul, flying in a Lear 55
(successful retirement has its privileges), it was
twenty-four and spitting the first snowflakes of
another long northern winterWhen I landed in
Sarasota it was eighty-five and sunnyEven
crossing the tarmac to the private air terminal,
still clumping along on my trusty red crutch, I
thought I could feel my hip saying thank youWhen I look back on that time, it's with the
strangest stew of emotions: love, longing, terror,
horror, regret, and the deep sweetness only those
who've been near death can kn


